An Elegy, The Prelude.

It is never easy,

Seeing you like this, kept to yourself, slowly fading,

Where have you gone? Have I made it too far?!

Pushing you, shoving you away!?

It is never easy,

No one told us it would be this hard,

I’m losing you like a funeral soon to close,

I tried to make it, to give you what you needed. Where have I missed?!

It is never easy,

To feel you far, to know you’re being distant,

Even more divided than miles, than dreams and the tick of time.

It is never easy to not have you as before.

All these in my head, telling me to give up,

All these thoughts reeling in like frost-bitten emotion cursing,

It is never easy to hear from you,

It is never easy to pretend I was fine.

I found my own recluse, to lay silent at night,

Shed tears, never thought it’d hurt to know you are suffering,

It is never easy sensing your pain, you are part of me, and I too feel how it’s like,

Is this how we mend it!? Ignorance, absence and mistaken emotions!?

I have damaged you beyond repair,

But who would break between us both,

The calloused heart or the inadvertent stabber!?

I only tried to make it right, but whatever I do seems to impair you even more.

I ask my faith, weary I am not for I am hopeful,

I ask my sanity, confused that each day I pretend to smile,

I ask myself, to know that I have the strength to keep going,

I could ask you why but those feelings are gone, lost and broken. That’s my answer.

It is never easy… To feel you emotionally die.