It was the blank white when it all started. I was staring endlessly on the computer screen unnerved of my surroundings if it was later than the usual dose of sleep I should be getting. Nothing seems any much mundane than that night. I was listening to the dampness of the whistling wind, the silent rustling of leaves and the endless opera of the night.
I was about to tear it up when that little red light came flashing. We never knew each other. I was never your constant stalker. We were both strangers.
And long after that my world did changed. I was searching for you. You made me tear away. You had me on sleepless nights. You just can’t get off of my head. I was insane. It was more than just a good talk of companionship.
Then again just as I was telling myself, I don’t have to surrender, I have to think let my emotions pull away and act like nothing exist. I was good at this. Pretending to be happy and feeling fine and all. I have lost myself on the predicament that I might just fall for a person like you.
There is nothing implicated for us both as a relationship would only mean the worst thought I can ever handle. Still that time you made me strong, made me feel appreciated, and cared at.
But all I know is one thing, I can have you even if we just can’t be, I know that one thing… I just miss you for now.
4 comments:
hmmm..i guess the prospect of falling for someone we're not sure if we should fall for will always be scary..we ask ourselves if we should find a way to stop, try placing mind over matter (and heart), and hope to God our defmechs will work so well that we can save ourselves from potential hurt.
unfortunately, at the back of our minds we all know that it's damn hard to rise against our own emotions, especially that of love. no matter how many defmechs we employ, no matter how much we purge the fantasies, and no matter how much we tell ourselves to stop, the feelings of attachment will still linger.
missing someone special is inevitable, and all we are left to do is feel the longing, day after day...until the fateful day that we are finally saved from the torment, in whatever way God intended it to play out. =)
darn... i was just about to slit my way to sanity when i read this mottee... i just have this frustrating disappointment that i can't do about or perhaps don't have the courage to talk about... and your reply couldn't be more right and helpful :D you saved another tear-less night...
damn those tings we want to have and can't have... the thought of longing for what we need and enduring all the emotional and mental torture we have to consider.
yeah. life can be pretty damn hard and unfair. but WTH, AWie. we're pretty damn amazing too and i believe that somewhere along the way we're bound to come across something good too.
things may not be how we want them to be right now, but i think one day it'll all work out to be fine. for everything, there is a purpose..even for our sufferings. the day will come when we'll look back and understand why God didn't give us the things we wanted to have.
with this i share to you one of my "most favoritest quotes" (ooh, that phrase is so grammatically incorrect but oh-so-adorable to pass up..hehe):
"Everything in the universe has a purpose.
There are no misfits,
there are no freaks,
there are no accidents...
there are only things we don't understand."
;)
"Everything in the universe has a purpose.
There are no misfits,
there are no freaks,
there are no accidents...
there are only things we don't understand."
= i just LOVE havin' you dear mottee :D Good Friends, Good Company <3
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